Grave Mercy (His Fair Assassin #1)

   
Grave Mercy (His Fair Assassin, #1)

Why be the sheep, when you can be the wolf?

Seventeen-year-old Ismae escapes from the brutality of an arranged marriage into the sanctuary of the convent of St. Mortain, where the sisters still serve the gods of old. Here she learns that the god of Death Himself has blessed her with dangerous gifts—and a violent destiny. If she chooses to stay at the convent, she will be trained as an assassin and serve as a handmaiden to Death. To claim her new life, she must destroy the lives of others.

Ismae's most important assignment takes her straight into the high court of Brittany—where she finds herself woefully under prepared—not only for the deadly games of intrigue and treason, but for the impossible choices she must make. For how can she deliver Death’s vengeance upon a target who, against her will, has stolen her heart?

  Grave Mercy by R.L. LaFevers
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Ugh I couldn’t finish this. I tried and tried so far but eventually the inevitable happened.

I may be harsh (I don’t consider myself harsh), I may be an asshole (I don’t consider myself an asshole), I may be a hater (I’m totally a hater) but I DNF’d the bitch! And it felt so damn good!

I was fair though. I gave it a 100-page trial, stuck to it like the good little girl I am and couldn’t even handle it. And to think page 100 was like 35% or something inside the book. 35%!!! Imagine how much left until it was done. I’d have to chew off my own fingers in order to bear with it.

Why did I hate it? I have two big-assed reasons. One, it’s shit boring. Two, it’s an Assassin’s Creed rip-off. And a really bad and boring (did I mention boring?) one. Now let me expand my hatred a bit.

My relationship with historical books is amazing. Yep. So amazing that I tend to spill acid on them each time I play mad scientist dress-up. And that’s a lot considering the pile of ruined books lying in the corner of my room.

Then why choose a historical book in the first place? Easy, because I thought it’s Young Adult.



Yep. I fell straight into the trap. It was the fucking cover. Does that look like a Historical Romance to you? And I presume it’s Historical Romance since some people on Goodreads added it to the Young Adult shelf. Thank you guys, you rock. But back to my covers. Just look at it. Does this resemble any of the following?







I thought so. I look at the Grave Mercy cover and I see Young Adult. I read the Grave Mercy ebook and I see bullshit.

The silence feels thick and awkward to me, but any attempt to make small talk seems equally so. Wondering if he feels it too, I sneak a glance in his direction and am appalled to find him watching me. We both wrench our eyes away, and even though I am no longer looking at him, every part of me is aware of his proximity, of the faint heat coming off his body in the damp autumn air, of the scent-




This woman is killing me. How can she be so lifeless?? She’s skipping the best parts. Does it have action? Throw it to the pigs. Is it boring? Put it in the damn book. Make it more difficult for Anzu to finish the damn thing. But of course Anzu is an idiot and will try her best to read it. Ugh!

When I look a title like His Fair Assassin I think of - hold on to your seats folks, I’m sure you weren’t expecting this - assassins. A huge surprise there, is it not? So as I was saying, before I rudely interrupted myself, assassins. An assassin is a wicked cool person with amazing murder, stealth and weapon skills who uses them in order to remove certain obstacles that get in the way of their happiness. A book about assassins is supposed to be murder/action/stealth/blood/brains filled. At least in my opinion. It was logical that I would expect this from title. Why it was filled with boring details and lacked action? I have no clue.

Which reminds me. Did you guys play the Assassin’s Creed games? Read the books? Am I the only one who smells the theft of many elements from the game?

First the Reverend Mother who is a female version of Al Mualim, the covenant is the creed, Ismae is Altaïr. In Assassin’s Creed they get their next target’s name through carrier pigeons, in Grave mercy they use a blind lady who reads it in chicken bones and feathers.

The Tears of Mortain have done their job well, for I am certain there is no spark of life burning behind that door.


Eagle vision much? What the hell??

At least if it was cool I wouldn’t mind it, but they are running the story. You don’t ruin the Assassin’s Creed story and get to live.



Ugh I so much wish the cover had a shirtless dude on it!! Then I wouldn’t have been tempted to read it.

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5 comments:

  1. HA! I warned you! Hahahaha! I couldn't finish it either! Your review sums up better how I felt! haha! For some reason I thought this might be like a bad ass heroine and some EPIC YA series. The heroine was sooo damn boring. Everything about this book was boring. :/

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  2. I was thinking of starting this book next week ... but not anymore it look like I'm changing to Everneath ... i really like the cover though :)

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  3. Fml for this one...

    Yeah, the cover is awesome. They should change it because it's too damn confusing!

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  4. Ahahahahaha
    Not exaggerating, I laughed my freaking nose off reading your review! You're freaking awesome, I'm loving your ruthless humor xDDD

    I'm gonna read this for myself and see what's what, but regardless of my thoughts I laughed my nose off.
    You rullz :D

    ReplyDelete

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