Grave Witch (Alex Craft #1)

   
Grave Witch (Alex Craft, #1)

 

Grave witch Alex Craft can speak to the dead, but that doesn’t mean she likes what they have to say.

As a private investigator and consultant for the police, Alex Craft has seen a lot of dark magic. But even though she’s on good terms with Death himself—who happens to look fantastic in a pair of jeans—nothing has prepared her for her latest case. Alex is investigating a high profile murder when she’s attacked by the ‘shade’ she’s raising, which should be impossible. To top off her day, someone makes a serious attempt on her life, but Death saves her. Guess he likes having her around...

To solve this case Alex will have to team up with tough homicide detective Falin Andrews. Falin seems to be hiding something—though it’s certainly not his dislike of Alex—but Alex knows she needs his help to navigate the tangled webs of mortal and paranormal politics, and to track down a killer wielding a magic so malevolent, it may cost Alex her life...and her soul.

 

  Grave Witch by Kalayna Price
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Grave Witch is full of mixed reviews. Some people liked it, others hated it. Most of the people on my list loved the damn thing so there’s no surprise when I say that I was having high hopes for it. And of course life took away my hopes, stomped all over them and threw them in the toilet. Much appreciated.

Why did I have such a hard time reading it?? Ugh why?? I tried my best to find stuff to like about it. Nothing happened. Nothing! And I’m pissed off because I’m still looking at all those good reviews and I can’t seem to figure out why the hell people liked it.

I did not enjoy the story nor gave a shit about any of the characters in the book. And I mean it when I say NONE. NADA. No character was worthy of my love, admiration and not even hate! I did not hate anyone in the book! Do you know what this means?! A hater without hate is like a day without sun! Like a happy meal without a toy! Like a dolphin without its porn!!

Yes, dolphins watch lots of porn.

Alex is a sad excuse of an urban fantasy heroine. She might be good in a paranormal romance, contemporary romance or young adult, whatever – you name it, but urban fantasy? Bitch please. She’s a wimp. She’s not funny. She doesn’t know how to fight, she’s not tough. She’s just.. out there. Existing.. Taking up the extra space that should belong to a fucking good heroine.

I’d already activated the charm that blocked my image from cameras, so now I just needed to worry about the two people Roy had seen.


Isn’t this a bit too silly? Am I being too harsh? Of course I’m being too harsh, that’s what I do. But anyway, I watched Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol this weekend so I had my ratio of silly ideas bullshit for this week. Well, at least MI has its own "badass spy" excuse but using a charm to block cameras from seeing you? Really??? A charm?? My mind is having a tough time swallowing this.


Whenever I feel like I’m boring my readers I dress up as a ninja and pretend to have awesome super-powers. This helps me get over my childhood traumas and the insecurities caused by all the badass heroines who are better than me.


And even though I was excited about the Devil being a character in the book, I can’t say that I’m happy with what I got regarding him. Yes, I know I’m the silly one for being excited over something like this but whatever, we all have our little brain gnomes who put weird stuff in our zomg-I-must-have-it shelf. So I have my excuse. And I have my own ideas of how Death can be hot and perfect and the best villain (and yet a hero) deep down in his nonexistent black heart. Death in Magic Graves is a Good Guy Greg.

One does not simply make Death a Good Guy Greg. Death is a force to be reckoned with. He makes you want him and yet you shit your pants because of the fear you feel when he looks at you. So please cut the crap!

Oh, and it has a love triangle. It’s mild, but still there.

*removes one star from the rating*

I’ll take back my star, thank you very much.

View all my reviews

 

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